You've started nursery...

.... And Mummy is wracked with guilt. Your only doing one afternoon and one morning per week, and in actual fact, I take you late and pick you up early so it doesn't even officially equate to 1 full day, but still I feel so ridiculously guilty. Everyone keeps informing me of how good it'll be for you, interacting with other children and learning new things... But I just can't shift the question of if I'm a bad mother, that I'm choosing to put you in nursery rather than it being a necessity of work? I've not done it selfishly, I can assure you, in fact I spend the hours that your there missing you incredibly and wondering what to do with myself. So much so, that yesterday (your first official morning) I blitzed the house so thoroughly that today I fear if I clean another inch I may risk rubbing away kitchen surfaces or the enamel on the bath. I call a million times to check your okay, and am always assured that you are, when I collect you you always seem relaxed and I'm told of how you played with this and that, how you ate all your lunch and loved playing outside... Surely they don't make all this up??
Yesterday afternoon, after collecting you, we played in the garden, baked cakes, did some painting, walked into the village and had a bubble bath, subconsciously i think i was trying to show you how much i do love you and in some strange way seeking your forgiveness for 4 hours, which in actual fact, you more than likely, thoroughly enjoyed.
Is this an affliction of all mothers, I wonder? An extension of asking to have a shower or use the bathroom when Daddy is around, even though Daddys just go about their daily routine as though it's their right to continue as they please, just jumping in the shower whenever the need takes them, not needing to check that baby will be watched by their other half... Anyway, I digress, but all the Mums reading this will know what I'm talking about.
Yesterday, when I called my Mummy (Grandma), in a rather emotionally vulnerable state having just left you there for the first time, her words of wisdom in response to my feeble "do you think, she'll think I've left her there, Do you think she'll hate me???"
"well I left you at nursery, and you didn't hate me, did you?"

Oh God, I can't remember I might have done??



- love Mummy x

Our last day in India....

So tomorrow will be our last full day in India, as the following day we leave for home, via a little holiday in Dubai.... This will be your 15th flight and the day you turn 16 months. Our time living in India over the last few months has been eventful, emotional and at times tedious, but I hope that in years to come, even though you will no doubt, have no recollection of any of it, you will look back on it and be proud to have had so many adventures when you were so little.

You've been stared at, photographed and claimed more attention than Harper Beckham (which will no doubt hold no relevance when you read this - but at the time of writing she probably holds the title of the most famous little girl on the planet), you've learnt to walk here, to say your name, to say other peoples names, fell in love with a purple dinosaur named Barney (although you pronounce Barbey), made friends with some "piggies" named Peppa & George, found a talent for painting, discovered the joy of squishing play-doh through your toes and learnt how to "cook" imaginary pasta in a bucket at the pool...

You have literally grown from this experience.... You came to India as my baby, and although you will always be this, you are definitely going home as a little girl!


- love Mummy x

Your first job!

When you were still in my tummy, just 16 weeks after conception, you did your first ever modelling job.... And here it is!!


- love Mummy x

Ocean's Gallery!

- love Mummy x

Dinosaurs, Ice pops & snoring!

It's been too long since I last wrote down my thoughts, you are keeping me so busy these days, and we are doing so much travel, I hardly seem to have the time. But, you are still the highlight of my each and every day, and your growing character and new tricks still make me so very proud of you.
So, what have you learnt since the last time I wrote to you, so much it would be impossible to cover it all, but here are the highlights. Your vocabulary grows each day, asking for "pop" and "apple", which are certainly your favourite foods to munch on. You give instructions, "knee, open, close, comehere" and you seem to understand absolutely everything I say.... But still answer "NO!". When something's "all gone" you ask for "bin", and even say "byebye" to the offending article. By far the cutest thing you now do, is pretend snoring when your trying to tell someone that your teddy or dolly is asleep, it's completely and utterly heart melting.
We've been to the Zoo whilst on a trip back to the UK where you were thrilled to try out all your animal noises and get similar responses as a reply.... Your favourite by far were the monkeys, which grandma and I had to tear you away from. However, just like Mummy when she was little (according to Grandma) you were completely petrified of the dinosaurs (let me just interject a NB and say the dinosaurs weren't actually real, but all other animals were) and you screamed until we left. Actually Mummy was still a little scared too!
- Remember one thing, Mummy loves you x

You are made of....

Be humble for you are made of earth,
Be noble for you are made of stars!


- love Mummy x