You've started nursery...

.... And Mummy is wracked with guilt. Your only doing one afternoon and one morning per week, and in actual fact, I take you late and pick you up early so it doesn't even officially equate to 1 full day, but still I feel so ridiculously guilty. Everyone keeps informing me of how good it'll be for you, interacting with other children and learning new things... But I just can't shift the question of if I'm a bad mother, that I'm choosing to put you in nursery rather than it being a necessity of work? I've not done it selfishly, I can assure you, in fact I spend the hours that your there missing you incredibly and wondering what to do with myself. So much so, that yesterday (your first official morning) I blitzed the house so thoroughly that today I fear if I clean another inch I may risk rubbing away kitchen surfaces or the enamel on the bath. I call a million times to check your okay, and am always assured that you are, when I collect you you always seem relaxed and I'm told of how you played with this and that, how you ate all your lunch and loved playing outside... Surely they don't make all this up??
Yesterday afternoon, after collecting you, we played in the garden, baked cakes, did some painting, walked into the village and had a bubble bath, subconsciously i think i was trying to show you how much i do love you and in some strange way seeking your forgiveness for 4 hours, which in actual fact, you more than likely, thoroughly enjoyed.
Is this an affliction of all mothers, I wonder? An extension of asking to have a shower or use the bathroom when Daddy is around, even though Daddys just go about their daily routine as though it's their right to continue as they please, just jumping in the shower whenever the need takes them, not needing to check that baby will be watched by their other half... Anyway, I digress, but all the Mums reading this will know what I'm talking about.
Yesterday, when I called my Mummy (Grandma), in a rather emotionally vulnerable state having just left you there for the first time, her words of wisdom in response to my feeble "do you think, she'll think I've left her there, Do you think she'll hate me???"
"well I left you at nursery, and you didn't hate me, did you?"

Oh God, I can't remember I might have done??



- love Mummy x

Ocean's Gallery!

- love Mummy x

First birthday, first shoes!

Today, on your 1st birthday, Mummy and Daddy (and Grandma too actually) took you on a little shopping trip and bought you your first pair of shoes, size 3 1/2 G! You were your usual entertaining self, and had the Clarks staff coo-ing over you and your antics within minutes. Other staff members were emerging from the stock room to see the little performer with such a beautiful name. Waving, boo-ing and prancing up and down, lifting you feet adorned with pretty new shoes dramatically high even for a teetering toddler in a tutu, made you hard to resist. You then spent the rest of the afternoon, lifting your feet high in your pram to inspect the new prettiness your feet were fashioning!!


- love Mummy x

Cake smash!

Today you did a "cake smash" photo shoot with a giant cupcake! It was so much fun, and you really took after Mummy and were a proper little actress in front of the camera.... Anyway, the above is the aftermath of said shoot!

- love Mummy x

366 days old!

Wow!

I can't believe that my baby is one year old! It seems like only a heartbeat ago that I said "hi princess" for the very first time as you were placed in my arms. So much has happened in those 366 days, and you and I have grown and changed so much. You've taught me so much about the world and myself, and I've found peace and appreciation in the smallest things, that previously would have sped by without me noticing.

I'm not going to lie and say its been an easy road, the last month has definately been the hardest of my life, but it has been worth it, you are worth it. You've suffered with a terrible stomach virus for weeks, and at some point we've all caught it too. It's not been our best month, and most of it we've spent covered in vomit or poo, but thankfully that's all over now and we can start your 2nd year healthy and happy.

The last 366 days have been a wonderful journey, (in spite of the most recent poo covered and earlier sleep deprived bits) and I'm so excited to continue discovering the world through your eyes!


- love Mummy x

You can stand!!!!

You can stand all by yourself!!! Not just for a few seconds but indefinately. This morning you decided to display this new trick whilst attempting to brush your teeth with my toothbrush!!!
Mummy is so proud!!



- love Mummy x

Ocean's Gallery!

- love Mummy x

You've been keeping me so busy!

I've been missing in action from my letter writing recently, mainly due to how busy life now is (who knew an 8 month old could live such a demanding social calendar!).

Today, however I feel that we reached a milestone which I just have to record. Not crawling, although you are now doing that (that story is yet to come) and not even the fabulous day of your christening, no, the momentous moment, is that I came to your nursery after your nap and you were sitting up in your cot waiting for me!! It stopped me in my tracks, and made me realise you are fast on your way to becoming a toddler!!!! Although, in my eyes you'll always be my baby girl!!!


- love Mummy x

A day at the office with Daddy!

Turkey.

- love Mummy x

"reading" your first magazine.

You were quite intrigued by the pretty, glossy booklet of papers that mummy was staring at over her morning coffee, in fact you were far more interested in Mummy's magazine than you were, your room full of toys, so after I'd finished (actually I hadn't quite finished with the magazine, but I hadn't bet on it coming back to me in quite an unreadable state) you decided to have a little flick through!!

It had all been going reasonably well, until you discovered the magical crumpling and tearing noises that you could make with the pretty, colourful pages... future reading of which became somewhat unrealistic.

NOTE TO SELF: read Vogue in hiding!

what a sunny Saturday!

What a beautiful day it's been, we've spent the whole day out in the garden concluding with a little barbeque (you just had milk, which wasn't done on the barbeque, but you soaked in the atmosphere whilst drinking it!)

A day at the office with Daddy!

Moscow

- love Mummy x

A day at the office with Daddy....

India

- love Mummy x

Thankful Thursdays

Today I am grateful that your Daddy is home from his business trip tomorrow. Today I am grateful that my first week of being 30 wasn't all that bad after all. Today I am grateful that You enjoyed your swimming class almost as much as I enjoyed taking you. Today I am grateful to have the people that matter the most to me in my life.


- love Mummy x

Shadows, swimming & waving bye byes!

Today you had your first swimming lesson at Aquababies, and it turns out your a water baby just like Mummy was. You did some splashing, just like you've started to do in the bath, you swished on your tummy and Mummy held you so your head didn't go in the water, although, as the instructor put it you did "keep trying to look at the fishies" (there weren't any actual fishes otherwise Mummy would have had a heart attack - but we won't get into that) and here's the really good bit, you did a little dunk under water and didn't even cry!

"Ocean, ready.... go!". That's what we say and you hold your breath!

You've also becoming endearingly fascinated by your own shadows, this seems to have developed from your earlier obsession with reflections, and I'm not just talking about in mirrors, you will smile, your biggest, gummiest grin at the stainless steel light switches or the taps whilst in the bath, as if you've just seen your favourite toy, it's completely and utterly adorable! But to revert to my original point, you now love nothing more than sitting in the sunshine and playing with your shadow. Sticking your arm up and down in the air, trying to grab the shadow that appears and watching it miraculously wave back at you.... Which brings me nicely onto your new trick!

You can wave!!! This is no childish finger bending wave, or whole handed side to side waft, oh no, this is a royal affair, as if waving to the queen! People are even starting to comment on it's regalness (i know thats probably not even a word, but when you have a daughter with such a royal wave you can get away with it)!

Well, what do they expect from a Princess!!!

- love Mummy x

40's inspired bride, teepees & a tearful best man!

At just 5 and a half months old you have attended your very first Wedding, and what a Wedding it was.  Rain threatened as the bride entered the church, but when we all emerged after the beautiful ceremony, the sun shone for the picturesque walk down the little lane to the teepee marquees in the back garden of the brides family home.  You were a very good girl during the ceremony, after all you couldn't help the almighty "splat" that echoed through the congregation when you threw up over Daddy's shoulder, it had of course, been Mummy's bright idea to give you a bottle to keep you quiet.  But mayhem did not descend, instead you happily gurgled away to Daddy, whilst Mummy was on her hands and knees in her lovely dress, wiping up the sick!

The teepees were amazingly deceptive, everyone wondered how we would all fit into the funny shaped tents, but when you walked through the entrance they opened up into a vast Wedding wonderland, with a bar and chill out area in the first, then the dining area, ending with the dance floor in the far tent.  Long picnic style benches, with cosy sheepskin throws lined up in front of the top table, and place names were hand written on huge pebbles (which are now happily displayed on our decking).  Twinkly lights wound round the teepee struts, and ornate lanterns set the mood.

You fell asleep during the speeches but I'm sure the groom didn't take offence, the best man's speech was very touching as he got very emotional, so he would have probably been pleased at one less set of eyes on him.  During the groom's speech he said something that has stayed with me since, he said,

"Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without!"

So, little Ocean, when your older (much older), and considering getting married, I hope you remember these wise words spoken by the groom, at the very first wedding you attended.

Yummy Mummy Style!

Today it's all about vintage baby clothes!! This adorable tunic top has been lovingly kept by Ocean's Grandma for 30 years.... It used to be mine and I think it looks just as stylish today as it must have done back then. Aside from the enviromentally friendly feel good factor of this, it actually makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to think Ocean is wearing something I wore. (I'm sure this won't be the same feeling when she's 14 and nicking my clothes)

Grandma also kept all my terry towelling nappies, washed I might add, not sure I'm so keen on re-using those though.... I'm green but that's pushing it!!!

- love Mummy x

Mummy turns 30!!!!

Today mummy turns 30, which i know probably sounds incredibly ancient to you, but i promise that actually (or at least people keep assuring me) its not really that old!

Every year as I'm approaching another year older, i can't help but think of my earliest memory regarding age. I must have only been 9 or 10 as i was still at junior school, and i can remember as clear as if it were yesterday walking up the big Victorian staircase to my classroom, where we must have been discussing the Millennium. I can remember concentrating hard as i climbed the steps, to calculate what age i would be, eventually concluding with the grand old age of 18.

18, i thought to myself....I'll be dead old!! (how naive of my youthful spirit)

So now as i turn 30, a whole 12 years older than i was at the Millennium, and probably 20 years from that day i remember so clearly, climbing those stairs, I pledge to myself and you, to always retain some of that little girls spirit and stay young at heart.

Be true to yourself!

Today Mummy was unfairly judged by someone who doesn't know her, and it made her question herself.

"why am I not her type of person", "what did I say or do that caused her to dislike me", "how did I give this wrong impression of myself"??

I went on questioning myself for the rest of the day, until I finally realised that in actual fact, this person was wrong! I know who I am, far more than this individual who has decided on mass that she dislikes one of my group of friends (that I might add, welcomed her and tried very hard to befriend her). I know I'm a likeable person, I have a fantastic, loyal group of friends to prove it.

So as you go through life, be true to yourself, be the kind of person you'd want to be around yourself, be kind and honest, and then if one day you encounter such a person who makes you question your character, you can look inside and be sure that they too are wrong! Don't judge people, like everyone until they give you a reason not to, but also remember when someone shows you who they are, believe them!


- love Mummy x

Us today!!!

- love Mummy x